I spent two days in Cologne in July 2020, figuring I should check out one of Germany’s bigger cities while I was in the area. It was during COVID times, so not the full experience, but honestly, two days was already too much time in this depressing place.
The cathedral is genuinely epic and basically the only reason to visit, but everything else about Cologne – and Germany in general – just crushed my soul. The whole country has this grim, bureaucratic atmosphere that made me want to get out as fast as possible.
What Cologne Actually Is
Cologne is Germany’s fourth-largest city with about 1.1 million people, and it’s honestly one of the most depressing places I’ve visited in Europe. Sure, there’s the massive cathedral, but beyond that, the city feels completely lifeless and artificial.
The whole place is basically post-war reconstruction that has zero soul or character. Most of what you see is rebuilt after WWII bombing destroyed about 90% of the city center, which explains why it feels kind of soulless compared to cities that survived the war intact.
It’s a gray, bureaucratic wasteland with an impressive church stuck in the middle of it.
The History That Explains Everything
From Roman Glory to Post-War Reconstruction
Cologne was founded by Romans in 38 AD, making it one of Germany’s oldest cities. During the Middle Ages, it was one of Europe’s largest cities and a major trading hub. The cathedral construction started in 1248 and took over 600 years to complete.
Then WWII happened and the city got absolutely bombed to hell. About 90% of the city center was destroyed, so most of what you see now is post-war reconstruction. This explains why the “historic” center feels pretty artificial and lacks that authentic old European character.
Post-war industrial rebuilding brought in workers from all over, and modern immigration patterns have completely changed the demographic makeup of the city.
The Epic Cathedral Experience
The Cologne Cathedral (Kölner Dom) is hands down the best thing about the city – and honestly, it’s genuinely spectacular. This thing took over 600 years to build and you can see why.
What Makes It Amazing
- The size: It’s genuinely overwhelming when you see it up close
- Gothic architecture: The detail and craftsmanship is incredible
- Tower climb: You can climb up for city views, though it’s a serious workout
- Interior: Massive nave and beautiful stained glass
It’s packed with tour groups but still worth dealing with the crowds. The cathedral alone makes the trip somewhat worthwhile – it’s basically the one must-see thing in Cologne, and everything else is pretty forgettable compared to it.
This is one of those buildings that makes you stop and stare, and it really dominates the entire city skyline in the most impressive way.
The Sunday Shutdown Disaster
Here’s the most ridiculous thing about Germany – the entire country literally shuts down on Sundays. I’m talking everything. Restaurants, shops, tourist attractions – everything closed. It’s like the whole country goes into hibernation mode.
This is absolutely insane and completely ruins any travel momentum. What kind of country just stops functioning one day a week? The Sunday shutdown alone should disqualify Germany as a tourist destination.
Plan your trip carefully around this bizarre cultural quirk, or you’ll find yourself wandering around a ghost town wondering what happened to civilization.
Architecture and Getting Around
Most of the “historic” center is actually post-war reconstruction, so it lacks that authentic old European feel you get in cities that weren’t bombed flat.
Areas I Checked Out
- Old Town: Reconstructed after WWII, feels artificial
- Around the cathedral: Main tourist zone, decent for walking
- Rhine waterfront: Nice for a walk along the river
- Ehrenfeld: Supposed to be the hip area, still felt dead
Good public transport system, everything’s walkable in the center. The city’s compact so you can see the main stuff quickly, which is fortunate because there isn’t much worth seeing anyway.
The Cultural Reality
This was honestly the most shocking part of visiting Cologne – you barely see ethnic Germans anywhere in the city center. The demographic makeup has changed dramatically over recent decades.
If you’re going to Germany expecting German culture, you’re going to be seriously disappointed. Good luck even hearing German spoken – you’ll hear Turkish and Arabic everywhere instead.
It feels like you’re in the Middle East rather than Europe, which completely defeats the point of visiting Germany if you wanted to experience German culture.
The German Social Depression
Germany has this suffocating, bureaucratic atmosphere that just kills any joy or spontaneity. Everyone looks miserable, everything’s over-regulated, and there’s zero energy or life to the place.
Even with COVID restrictions, you could tell there’s no energy or life to this place. The German personality seems clinically depressed – everyone follows rules like robots with zero spontaneity, humor, or joy.
People look at you suspiciously if you’re having too much fun. The whole society seems designed to crush any spirit or creativity.
Food Scene: Heavy and Joyless
Traditional German food is heavy, bland, and boring. Sausages, schnitzel, beer, pretzels – it’s like they gave up on cuisine entirely.
With all the immigration, German restaurants are actually hard to find. It’s mostly Turkish and Middle Eastern food, which is often better than German food but defeats the point of visiting Germany.
Pricing
- Meals: €10-25 (overpriced for what you get)
- Beer: €3-5
- Coffee: €2-4
- Daily food budget: €30-50
You’re paying European prices for mediocre food in a depressing atmosphere. Even when places are open, the service is typically German – efficient but completely joyless.
Cost Reality
Daily Costs
- Accommodation: €40-80/night for decent places
- Food and drink: €30-50/day
- Transport: €2-3 per ride
- Total daily budget: €60-100
Not as expensive as Munich or Frankfurt, but you’re not getting great value for what you pay. Prices are reasonable but not cheap for such a soulless experience.
Tourist Attractions Beyond the Cathedral
Other stuff you can see (though none of it’s particularly compelling):
- Romano-Germanic Museum: Roman artifacts, decent but not amazing
- Ludwig Museum: Modern art collection
- Old Town reconstruction: Post-war rebuild of medieval area
- Rhine River walks: Pleasant enough for a stroll
- Various churches: Several historic churches worth a quick look
Besides the cathedral, there’s not much that’s particularly compelling. You can see everything worthwhile in a day or two, which is fortunate because that’s about all you can handle.
Digital Nomad Assessment
Pros:
- Excellent internet infrastructure
- Efficient public transport
- Central European location
- Good English proficiency in business areas
Cons:
- Soul-crushing bureaucratic atmosphere
- Sunday shutdown ruins productivity rhythm
- Depressing social environment
- Over-regulated everything
- Cultural disconnect from what you’d expect
Digital Nomad Rating: 3/10
The bureaucratic nightmare and social depression make this completely unsuitable for remote work lifestyle.
Weather and Timing
July weather was decent – warm but not too hot, typical German summer. At least the weather wasn’t a problem during my visit.
- Summer: The only time it’s barely tolerable, though still depressing
- Winter: Probably makes you want to end it all
- Spring/Fall: Gray, rainy, and miserable
Transportation and Practical Info
- Public transport: Efficient German system with trams, buses, and U-Bahn
- Regional connections: Good train connections to other German cities
- Airport: Cologne Bonn Airport connects to major European destinations
- Walkability: City center is compact and walkable, though not charming
Everything runs on time with typical German efficiency, but efficiency without soul is just mechanical operation.
Who Should (And Shouldn’t) Visit Cologne
Maybe Good For:
- Cathedral architecture nerds who can ignore everything else
- People doing comprehensive European cathedral tours
- Travelers who enjoy bureaucratic efficiency
- Anyone specifically interested in WWII reconstruction
Definitely Skip If:
- You want to enjoy your vacation
- You’re looking for European charm or authentic culture
- You have literally any other option in Europe
- You value your mental health
- You want to experience actual German culture
Seriously, almost anywhere else in Europe would be a better use of your time and money.
Cologne vs. Other German Cities
Versus Berlin: Berlin’s more interesting historically and has better nightlife
Versus Munich: Munich has way more charm and better atmosphere
Versus Hamburg: Hamburg felt more lively and authentic
Versus Frankfurt: Frankfurt’s more international but equally soulless
Cologne sits in the middle – not the worst German city but nothing special either.
My Brutal Bottom Line
Overall Rating: 4/10
Cologne sucks, and honestly, so does Germany. The cathedral is genuinely spectacular and the only reason this place gets above a 3/10, but everything else about this city and country is just depressing.
You’re paying European prices to walk around a gray, soulless wasteland where everyone looks miserable and you can’t even experience German culture. The Sunday shutdown thing is absolutely insane, and the whole bureaucratic atmosphere makes you want to leave immediately.
The Cathedral: Genuinely Amazing
Worth seeing once – it really is spectacular and one of Europe’s great Gothic achievements.
Everything Else: Complete Waste
I spent two days in Cologne and it felt like two weeks. The place just sucks the life out of you. Germany has managed to take historic cities and turn them into joyless administrative zones.
My Advice
Fly in, see the cathedral, fly out. Don’t waste time on anything else because there’s nothing else worth seeing. Germany is probably the most overrated tourist destination in Europe.
The brutal truth? Save your money and go literally anywhere else. Even with an epic cathedral, Cologne represents everything wrong with modern European bureaucratic culture.
The cathedral alone doesn’t justify dealing with everything else wrong with this place. You can see photos of Gothic architecture online without subjecting yourself to the German social experience.
Final Verdict
Germany has some incredible historical architecture, but the modern culture and social atmosphere make it almost unbearable to visit. Cologne perfectly embodies this contradiction – world-class historical monument surrounded by soul-crushing modern reality.
If you absolutely must see the cathedral, make it a day trip and get out fast. Don’t try to experience “German culture” because it basically doesn’t exist anymore in any recognizable form.
Have you been to Cologne or other German cities? Did you find the cultural atmosphere as depressing as I did, or did you discover something redeeming I missed? What’s your take on destinations with amazing individual attractions but terrible overall experiences? Share your thoughts in the comments!
