Marriage rates have dropped 60% since 1970. Half of all marriages end in divorce. Young people are choosing situationships over commitment, living together without wedding rings, and many are just staying single. The institution that held society together for thousands of years is dying in real time.
Marriage used to be the default path—you grew up, found someone, got married, had kids, built a life together. Now it’s optional, expensive, risky, and frankly, a lot of people think it’s pointless. Here’s why marriage is dying and what’s taking its place.
The Numbers Don’t Lie
In 1970, 70% of American adults were married. Today? It’s 50% and dropping fast. Among people in their late twenties and early thirties—prime marriage age—only 44% are married compared to 84% in 1970.
People are waiting way longer to get married. The average age jumped from 21 for women and 23 for men in 1970 to 28 for women and 30 for men today. And many never marry at all.
Even when people do get married, there’s still a coin flip’s chance it’ll end in divorce. Those 50% divorce rates have been stuck there for decades.
Birth rates have crashed alongside marriage rates—from 3.7 kids per woman in 1960 to 1.7 today. That’s way below replacement level.
Cohabitation has increased 1,500% since 1970. People are living together without marriage more than ever, but these relationships are statistically way less stable than actual marriages.
Why Young People Are Running From Marriage
Young people aren’t avoiding marriage because they don’t want love—they’re avoiding it because it looks financially insane and emotionally risky.
The average wedding costs $30,000. That’s a down payment on a house! And speaking of houses, they cost 3-5 times what they used to relative to income. The whole sequence of marriage-house-kids feels financially impossible.
Many have watched friends’ parents go through brutal divorces that destroyed families financially and emotionally. Why would you sign up for that risk?
Women don’t need husbands for financial security anymore. Previous generations of women literally needed marriage to survive economically. Now women can support themselves, making marriage optional instead of necessary.
The sexual revolution eliminated needing to marry for physical intimacy. Hook-up culture and casual relationships provide that without long-term commitment.
Modern culture tells you to “find yourself” and “explore your options” instead of committing to growing with one person. Marriage feels limiting instead of enriching.
The Economic Reality
The economic foundation that made marriage work has been completely destroyed.
Previous generations could afford families on one income. A guy with a high school education could support a wife and kids with a decent job. Now both partners work just to afford basic living expenses.
Student debt is crushing family formation. When you both owe $50,000+ in loans, adding wedding costs and family expenses feels overwhelming.
Housing costs have made the traditional path impossible. Young couples can’t afford homes where they could raise families, so they delay everything until their thirties or forties.
It now costs over $230,000 to raise a kid to 18, not including college. That makes parenthood feel financially irresponsible.
Marriage has literally become a luxury good mainly accessible to upper-middle-class couples who can afford homes, weddings, and kids.
What’s Taking Marriage’s Place
Different relationship models are filling the space marriage used to occupy:
Situationships—undefined relationships with some partnership benefits but zero commitment. All the emotional investment with none of the security.
Serial monogamy—cycling through exclusive relationships that last 1-3 years. You get temporary partnership without long-term planning.
Cohabitation without marriage—living together, sharing expenses, but without legal or cultural commitment. Often ends when one person wants marriage and the other doesn’t.
Extended singlehood—staying single while getting social and emotional needs met through friends, family, and casual relationships.
Friends with benefits—separating physical intimacy from emotional commitment, which usually leaves someone wanting more.
Open relationships and polyamory—trying to get needs met through multiple partners instead of committing to grow with one person.
Why These Alternatives Fall Short
These new relationship models provide some benefits but fail to deliver what marriage offered at its best.
Situationships create constant anxiety because nobody knows where they stand. You can’t make long-term plans when there’s no commitment, so both people stay emotionally guarded.
Serial monogamy prevents the deep intimacy that comes from weathering life’s challenges together. You never get past the honeymoon phase to build real partnership through difficulties.
Living together without marriage has higher breakup rates because when things get tough, it’s easier to leave. People don’t feel secure enough to fully invest.
Extended singlehood provides freedom but often leads to loneliness and regret later. Many people in their forties and fifties report feeling isolated and wishing they’d built families.
These alternatives give you the fun parts of relationships without the challenging parts that create real growth, security, and meaning.
The Hidden Costs
The death of marriage is creating problems society isn’t prepared to handle.
Humans are pair-bonding creatures who crave security and commitment. This modern focus on keeping options open conflicts with our deep need for stable attachment.
Instead of working through problems, people constantly wonder if they should find someone better. This creates chronic relationship anxiety.
Kids growing up without stable two-parent households show higher rates of behavioral problems and mental health issues. The breakdown of marriage is creating generational challenges.
People don’t know what they’re working toward in relationships anymore. There’s no clear progression, which creates confusion and disappointment.
Birth rates are crashing, which threatens economic stability. Fewer workers supporting aging populations means social security and healthcare systems are in trouble.
Can Marriage Be Saved?
Marriage isn’t dead everywhere—it’s primarily dying among working and lower-middle classes while staying strong among affluent, educated couples.
Upper-middle-class couples still marry at high rates because they can afford it and see the benefits for raising kids and building wealth.
Religious communities maintain strong marriage cultures by providing social support and clear expectations about working through difficulties.
Countries with strong family support systems—paid parental leave, affordable childcare, housing assistance—maintain higher marriage rates.
For marriage to make a comeback, we’d need economic policies that make family formation affordable, cultural shifts that value commitment over individual freedom, and social support systems that help couples through difficulties.
What You Can Do
If you want marriage to work in your life, you need to swim against the cultural current.
Choose partners who value commitment over keeping options open. Look for people who see marriage as a goal, not a trap.
Build financial stability before marriage so economic stress doesn’t destroy your relationship. Marriage works better when you can afford it.
Develop relationship skills that society no longer teaches—communication, conflict resolution, the ability to sacrifice and compromise.
Create support systems with other couples who value marriage and can encourage you during tough times.
Focus on compatibility over just chemistry. Shared values and life goals matter more than initial attraction.
The Bottom Line
Marriage is dying because the economic, social, and cultural conditions that supported it have been systematically dismantled. What’s replacing it gives some benefits but fails to deliver the deep security and stability that marriage offered at its best.
This might not be progress. We could be trading the challenges of commitment for the different but more painful challenges of perpetual uncertainty and isolation.
Individual couples can still make marriage work, but it requires conscious effort to create what society no longer provides naturally.
The death of marriage isn’t just changing how people form relationships—it’s reshaping society in ways we won’t understand for decades. The choices you make about commitment affect not just you, but the kind of society we’re all creating together.